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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821649">I Don't Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/havokwritesstuff/pseuds/havokwritesstuff'>havokwritesstuff</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>yanderepeterparker (blog) [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood, Hanahaki Disease, Kidnapping, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:15:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22821649</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/havokwritesstuff/pseuds/havokwritesstuff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter likes MJ. You love Peter. Too bad it's killing you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, One sided Peter Parker/Reader, Yandere Peter Parker/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>yanderepeterparker (blog) [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624429</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Don't Love You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was no worse pain than loving someone who didn’t love you back, especially when that meant flowers would grow in your lungs, something you would eventually die a painful death from.</p>
<p>In your case, you loved Peter Parker. He was your best friend, your very first friend in fact. The disease had been affecting you ever since you met him years ago, petals forcing their way out of your lungs every single day.</p>
<p>But it got worse when Peter developed a crush on Liz, then a more intense one on MJ. So not only did you have to watch the boy you loved fawn all over other people, but you started coughing up entire flowers and a lot of blood.</p>
<p>And now that Peter had a plan to tell MJ during the trip to Europe you were up to almost three bouquets worth of flowers a day. It meant you didn’t have much time left.</p>
<p>You sat with Ned and Peter in art class as Peter went over his plan and you could feel the tangled mass of flowers choking you. You struggled to breathe and listen to him, wanting to seem normal. Even when MJ came in and Peter lit up, you managed to keep it under control.</p>
<p>After she left, you let out a strangled noise, attracting the attention of both of your friends, as well as some of the other students in the room. You shot up from your chair and ran to the nearest trashcan. You coughed hard, a whole bloom coming out immediately, soaked with blood. It was agony, like there was barbed wire balled up in your chest and throat instead, and tears flooded your cheeks.</p>
<p>Peter and Ned went after you and gasped when they saw you choke out another flower. They looked at each other in horror, both knowing exactly what it meant. The teacher looked on sadly, since all of your teachers were already aware of your condition.</p>
<p>You coughed up three more flowers before you were able to breath again and you straightened back up. Dread filled you as you realized that Peter and Ned knew about your condition now. You had hoped that none of your friends would find out until you were already dead, but hanahaki was difficult to hide in its final stages.</p>
<p>“(Y/N), what-” Peter began, but you cut him off.</p>
<p>“Gotta go,” you forced out with a gravelly voice, brushing past him to grab your backpack and run to the nurse’s office, leaving him stunned.</p>
<p>“Did you know about this?” Ned asked.</p>
<p>“N-no, but if it’s this bad, they’ve had it for a long time. Why wouldn’t they tell us that they’re dy-?” Peter shook his head furiously, trying to rid his head of the thought. He couldn’t lose another person he cared about, not after Ben and Tony. “Who are they in love with anyway? They’ve never said anything.”</p>
<p>Ned looked at him like he’d just said the sky is green. “Are you serious, Peter?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, Ned. Who is it?”</p>
<p>“It’s you. Everyone knows it’s you.”</p>
<p>“Wh-what?” Peter felt an enormous guilt settle in him, perhaps even heavier than the rest, but he knew it was true.</p>
<p>He was killing his best friend.</p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>When you got home, you didn’t even stop as your parents called out to you. You went straight for the closest place that you could use, which happened to be the kitchen sink. You practically vomited it up since you’d been holding it in your whole way home.</p>
<p>Your vision was going dark, the pain becoming too much. It got harder and harder to breathe, and you could barely stand anymore. Your dad held you up as your mom rubbed your back. “Just let it out, sweetheart,” your father said, his voice cracking.</p>
<p>All you could do in response was sob and force out another bloom to join the half dozen in the sink, an equal amount of blood following it. Your parents looked at each other as you heaved loudly. They knew what had to be done, before it was too late.</p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>It was the first day of the summer trip and it wasn’t until everyone arrived at the airport that Peter realized you weren’t coming. He couldn’t help feeling guilty that you had to skip it. You’d been so excited when they announced it, but the more he thought about it, he put together that you didn’t seem so excited anymore once he’d started talking about his plan.</p>
<p>Peter tried to call you before boarding, and you didn’t answer. He sent you a text as well, which you left on read, and he sighed. The whole plane ride, Peter was upset about MJ ending up by Brad, but he also thought of you. How long had you loved him? How much longer did you have before the disease killed you?</p>
<p>Those thoughts ended up in the back of his head as he bought the Black Dahlia necklace and fought off the water Elemental in Venice.</p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>Monitors and machines beeped quietly in the background as you flipped through channels, staring mindlessly at the TV mounted on the wall.</p>
<p>You’d been in the hospital the past two days, since you passed out from a lack of oxygen during dinner. That little incident had pushed you up the list, so your waiting game got a lot shorter.</p>
<p>You didn’t want to get the surgery, not really, but your parents begged you. They didn’t want to watch you die and you couldn’t do that to them, even if it meant you lost all feeling, not just romantic, towards the person you loved most.</p>
<p>And maybe it would be better that way anyway, to live without the constant pain of unrequited love.</p>
<p>Something on a news channel caught your eye and you stopped there, turning up the volume. It was Peter fighting a bunch of drones in London. You’d caught a few glimpses of him on the news over the past few days, seeing him fight a fire monster. Even though the news called him the Night Monkey and he had a different suit, you knew it was him.</p>
<p>Peter had tried to call and text you over the trip, Ned as well, but you ignored them, not wanting to ruin their fun. You just wanted to get the surgery so no one would have to worry about you anymore.</p>
<p>The news broadcast showed all of the drones powering down and you just felt relieved knowing that Peter had been successful. But soon enough, there was a tearing sensation in your chest and a blinding pain, enough to make you scream, if you’d been able to breathe.</p>
<p>You were drowning, your lungs so full of blood and those damn flowers. The monitors you were hooked up to beeped wildly, but the sound faded out, mostly covered by the rushing in your ears. Your vision was starting to black out, letting you just barely see the nurses who came to your aid.</p>
<p>“If we don’t get them into surgery now, they’ll die,” was the last thing you heard before your world went black.</p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>It had been a month since Europe and Peter could feel himself going crazier by the day.</p>
<p>On the outside, he had everything going for him. May, his friends, his Spider-Man duties, and the girl he’d been pining over for months. But he didn’t really have everything, because you hadn’t spoken to him since the last day of school.</p>
<p>Peter had texted you, called you, and even tried going by your house to see you, but your parents always refused him. He climbed up to your window, like he often did if he needed help with an injury, but your curtains were shut every time, and you never responded when he knocked.</p>
<p>You didn’t talk to Ned or MJ either. The only reason they knew you were still alive was a post on Instagram of you and your parents on a trip to France the week before. You looked happy, like your death wasn’t lurking around the corner.</p>
<p>He found himself missing you more than he ever thought he would, especially since he knew that you were dying and it was because of him. But mostly because you were his oldest friend, someone who he couldn’t imagine his life without.</p>
<p>When Peter was out with his friends, holding MJ’s hand, he always imagined that you were there, telling some ridiculous joke that would make him laugh. Instead, you were at home, coughing up flowers and blood.</p>
<p>The thought of it was enough to make him sick with guilt.</p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>A little over a month after that, Peter broke up with MJ.</p>
<p>He couldn’t stop thinking about you. How you were feeling, if you were enjoying your summer, aside from your illness obviously. When Peter looked at MJ, when he held her hand, he found himself wishing it was you. When she kissed him, he wondered what it would feel like if it were your lips.</p>
<p>He couldn’t take it anymore.</p>
<p>He just wanted to see you smile like you always did when he went off on some nerdy rant or told a bad joke. He wanted to have Star Wars marathons with you again. He wanted to be able to drop by your room at the end of a night of patrol and talk to you about anything that came to mind.</p>
<p>But you still hadn’t contacted anyone.</p>
<p>More often than not, Peter’s afternoons and nights were a lot of him hanging around your apartment building, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. He waited by your window, thinking you might open it up.</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p>He ended up giving in and talking to your parents. They told him you had left to spend the summer away with family after your trip, but you would be coming back right before the start of school. Peter’s heart sunk in his chest. You were gone for the rest of the summer and he wouldn’t be able to see you until school started, which was made worse by you not calling him back.</p>
<p>He didn’t know what to do other than wait for you.</p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>Peter practically ran into school the first day trying to find you, but he had to stop and rest once he got to the lockers. Lately he’d been becoming short of breath a lot faster than usual. That was the last thing on his mind though as he saw you at your new locker, looking happier and healthier than ever.</p>
<p>“(Y/N)!” He dodged a few other students and ended up standing right beside you. “H-hi.”</p>
<p>You turned towards him, giving him a polite smile. “Hey, Peter.”</p>
<p>“How was your summer?” He asked, beaming. His heart was beating uncomfortably fast in your presence, but he didn’t care because you were finally there. In his excitement, he didn’t even notice that you had called him ‘Peter’ instead of your usual 'Pete’.</p>
<p>“It was good.” You turned back to your locker, putting a few of your things in. “Uh, how was yours?” You tried not to sound disinterested out of common courtesy, though apparently he didn’t notice.</p>
<p>“Fine, other than you not being here…I missed you.” Peter answered honestly, not expecting the response you had.</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s…cool.”</p>
<p>He shrugged it off, thinking that maybe you just felt awkward with how things were left off. “How’s your hanahaki?”</p>
<p>“It’s gone,” you answered, shutting your locker.</p>
<p>So you knew that he had realized his love for you over the summer. Then why did you seem so nonchalant about it? “A-and how do you feel about that?”</p>
<p>You shrugged. “I’m just glad I’m not dying anymore.”</p>
<p>Peter frowned in confusion, but before he could ask anything else, Ned came up. “Hey, (Y/N)!”</p>
<p>“Ned?!” You gave him a bright smile and hugged him tight. “Oh man, I missed you.”</p>
<p>That had Peter more confused. You were clearly happy to see Ned, but when he talked to you, you looked like you’d rather be anywhere else. Were you upset with him?</p>
<p>You finally let go of Ned, still grinning. “We should pick up some Delmar’s after school and catch up. I want to hear all about your summer.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we can all go. It’s been awhile since we talked.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you’re right. I should see if MJ and Betty want to go too.”</p>
<p>Your words hurt Peter, and Ned had seen it. He himself was wondering how you’d left out Peter, your best friend, who was standing right next to him. “And Peter, right?”</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah, sorry. You can come too if you want, Peter.” You spared him a quick glance before the bell rang, letting you know to get to class. “See you later.”</p>
<p>“That was weird,” Ned stated before shrugging his shoulders.</p>
<p>“Yeah, weird,” Peter mumbled, feeling the now familiar weight in his chest get heavier.</p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>The next week wasn’t much better.</p>
<p>When everyone sat together, you didn’t really acknowledge him. You talked with MJ and laughed with Ned, but with him you were just cordial. Not even your old inside jokes made you laugh. At least you’d started responding to some of his texts, only giving short replies, but you still didn’t see him outside of school if your other friends weren’t there.</p>
<p>The more you brushed him off, the more it hurt. If you were upset with him, he needed to fix it. He couldn’t stand another moment not being able to breathe while you were around.</p>
<p>So Peter did something he never thought he’d do.</p>
<p>He came in through your window after school and shot you with a taser web, knocking you out so he could take you to his place. He knew it was messed up, but he was desperate. He needed to see you, needed to talk to you, and it felt like the only way.</p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>You woke up in a bed, your eyes opening to a room that definitely wasn’t yours. You recognized it as Peter’s room, a place where you would study and build Lego sets together once upon a time, but it didn’t spark anything in you anymore, much like the person it belonged to.</p>
<p>With a groan, you sat up and saw him sitting at the edge of the bed. When he realized you were up, he moved closer, a huge grin on his face. “You’re awake!”</p>
<p>“Peter, what’s going on?”</p>
<p>“Well, you’ve kind of been acting weird around me and I needed to talk to you, so I brought you here,” he replied as if it were the most normal thing in the world, reaching over to take your hand.</p>
<p>You moved your hand away from his and his face fell slightly. “You tased me and kidnapped me from my house.”</p>
<p>“I can explain.” Peter took a deep breath, the smile returning. “I was wrong before, but I know now. It wasn’t MJ, it was you the whole time. I love you so much that it hurts, that’s why your hanahaki is gone. Not seeing you all summer was horrible, I missed you more than anything. But now we can make up for lost time-”</p>
<p>“Peter.”</p>
<p>“I know you’re mad that I picked MJ over you, but that’s over. It’s done. I love you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t love you,” you finally said, and that got Peter’s attention.</p>
<p>His voice was barely a whisper. “<em>What?</em>”</p>
<p>“My hanahaki is gone because I got the surgery, Peter.”</p>
<p>Peter could feel his chest get tighter as the look on your face told him you were serious. It all made sense, why you’d been acting so strange towards him. Hanahaki surgery took away any feeling for the person, romantic or not. You’d told him it was gone, but he didn’t think that was the reason. “Why?! I love you back now, you didn’t have to!”</p>
<p>“It was at the beginning of summer. I was getting worse because of your crush on MJ and my parents didn’t want me to die. So I was in the hospital, watching the news after your battle in London, and suddenly it got so bad they had to get me into surgery right away or I wouldn’t make it.”</p>
<p>Peter thought back to the battle and realized what had caused your sudden turn for the worse. <em>He kissed MJ that day.</em></p>
<p>Tears welled up in his eyes and he fell forward, throwing his arms around you. It felt like a giant hole had been ripped in his chest and you’d torn out his heart, the one that beat just for you. “It’s my fault! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”</p>
<p>He sobbed into your shoulder, and you could remember a time where seeing him like that would’ve broken your heart, but you felt nothing. It was as if a stranger were clinging to you, crying his eyes out in his agony. “You have to take me home.”</p>
<p>Peter pulled back to look at you, his eyes red and swollen, and his cheeks completely soaked. He was desperate to see something, anything, in your eyes, but he couldn’t. There had to be something he could do… “No! I can fix this! We can get your feelings back! You’ll love me again!”</p>
<p>“No, Peter. I won’t.”</p>
<p>His face crumbled again and he wailed into your chest, holding you tight. You didn’t comfort him or run your hands through his hair like you used to when he would break down in front of you, you just sat there uncomfortable.</p>
<p>It got harder for Peter to breathe, something he thought was just from the crying, until he felt an object crawling up his airway. He let out a short cough, which triggered another and another. Peter let go of you and collapsed onto your lap, struggling to catch a breath. You watched as this happened, knowing the signs, yet it didn’t hurt you like it should have.</p>
<p>Peter felt the thing make it from his throat to the back of his mouth and he finally got it out and into his palm, what he saw causing a new wave of sobs.</p>
<p>
  <em>A single petal.</em>
</p>
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